Have you ever known someone who was repeatedly on the verge of filing for a divorce over the course of a very long time, years even? Then, after finally getting the divorce, they find themselves “FALLING APART” and having major REGRETS!!!
Before the divorce, my friend seemed confident and self-assured that a divorce was the only thing keeping her from a happy, fulfilling life. Whenever meeting her for coffee and asking her what was new in her life, the response always included a new story about how miserable her partner made her life and the things he did that annoyed and disgusted her.
At our meetings, she used to joke with me that the second word in a recurring psychic medium message should have been her husband’s first name. At the time, neither of us understood Spirit’s Message:
After she finally obtained the divorce, I was confused when she confided in me that she felt even more WRETCHED, LONELY and FEARFUL. I had to make a very conscious decision to LISTEN carefully because I began to worry about my friend’s mental stability as some of the things she complained about were the same things as when married. She suffered long and hard.
She felt like her friends, family and (maybe even her therapist) expected or at least wanted her to get on with life. However, she could not simply turn off her emotional circuitry and it had a powerful surging. As a result, she was forced to look at herself and delve deeply into her psyche, sitting, starring-out-the-window, journaling and analyzing her emotional pain and the role she played in the breakup.
Eventually, she SURPRISED HERSELF through recognizing that in parts of her life, she had even resembled some of the things she hated and found disgusting about her husband. She had moved on past those parts of her life and she didn’t want to relive them by seeing her husband do the same dumb things she had experienced. WHOA, a really big aha moment for her and not so easy for her to swallow, digest, accept, forgive and move on.
At this point, we were both realizing what the “DIVORCE YOURSELF” message meant!!!
She continued to WISELY look at herself and the role she played in the misery of her relationship. Today, she views her former husband as the BIGGEST LIFE TEACHER she’s ever had. She’s actually GRATEFUL that she fell in love with him, married him, suffered for years, got a divorce from him (and herself) and HEALED her wounded self and integrated all parts of herself into her psyche.
What a ride!!! She’s still learning things. Not so much about her former partner, she’s learning things about “HERSELF.”
She’s flourishing and she’s been given the gift of knowledge about herself, her flaws and her strengths and an appreciation for her former partner and the lessons he unknowingly brought to her attention.
So, if you’ve been through a divorce and are at a point of knowing what role you played, my question for you is HAVE YOU DIVORCED “YOURSELF” YET???
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