Grieving the Death of an Estranged Parent

My estranged father died a few weeks ago and the unexpected emotions and feelings I’ve endured have been all over the place. I’ve gone through sadness, anger, guilt and cavernous loss. I’ve wept deep, sorrowful tears. I’ve experienced intense and powerful grief and it has left me mourning not only his death but also the loss of an imaginary, what-may-have-been …