The “Push-Away” Love Game

I’ve given many psychic readings to clients who unknowingly sabotage their relationship and happiness because they are driven by mysterious impulses when trying to hide their feelings. Typically, very baffling displays of behavior happen in an attempt to save face or not appear embarrassed or hurt. Then a crafty type of game begins that is what I’ll label as the “push-away” game. Playing the “push-away” game leads to misery and suffering and ultimately the undermining of the relationship. Below is an example of how this game is played:

The first move in this treacherous game is the “I’m hurt or offended” move.” It’s often played when you’re not feeling that you’re able to tell your mate how you honestly feel about something that has taken place. An extreme example would be that: Your mate just spoke highly of a former lover’s accomplishment of finding a cure for Ebola; and, even though you know your mate loves you and not this hero-of-the-world person, your feelings are hurt, not to mention that your self-esteem feels threatened and possibly in the toilet. The message from Spirit is strong and consistently the same: “SPEAK YOUR TRUTH” coupled with “Don’t beat yourself up, you cannot help how you FEEL in the moment.”

The second move occurs when you give your mate the SILENT TREATMENT. A far more effective method would be to muster-up-your-courage and speak-your-truth, whatever it is, in a KIND way. In many cases, you are feeling hurt and offended even though it doesn’t make rational sense, so try and take a deep breath and state the TRUTH. Really, what is the worst thing that could happen to you by really speaking your truth in this situation? The message from Spirit is to: “Always look at the BEST THING that could happen when speaking your truth.” The best thing that could happen is that your mate reassures you that you are loved just the way you are and they wouldn’t want you to be any different.

The third move is your mate’s move and they are generally just beginning to play because they’ve only recently realized that the “push-away” game may be playing out. So, they simply ask: “What’s wrong”? Your answer: “Nothing.” They aren’t convinced so they join in the game and try to PULL you back into their circle of love. Their next question is: “Were you offended or were your feelings hurt by my speaking of so-in-so curing Ebola”? Your answer is the predictable: “No!!!” Spirit’s message has always been: “Only honesty will deliver TRUE LOVE TO YOU.”

The fourth move may be that you take the game to a riskier level by not answering your mate’s phone calls. This can really make you feel miserable as well as your mate. Spirit answers with a question: “What did you expect”? then a statement “Find healing through your truth” and “TRUTH IS MORE POWERFUL THAN FEAR.” So, now you’re thinking: “Oh, maybe fear did cause me to start this whole ‘push-away’ game.”

 The fifth move always tickles me when I hear it (let’s call it the crafty-fox move). You do something like order a couple of dozen red roses and have them delivered to yourself. What??? Roses are expensive and now you have not only hurt your mate because you felt hurt, but, you’ve also spent your hard-earned cash doing so. Again, what if you had just asked for a big hug and told your mate up front that you felt threatened and need to be reassured that they love you? Spirit’s message is: “KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT THEN ASK FOR WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, ALWAYS.”

By now, both you and your mate are exhausted and miserable from playing the “push-away” game; and you can barely function at work or at home. Finally, your mate has figured out you are playing “push-away”; and, so they typically provide the reassurances and hugs and loves, etc.

But, what a price to pay for both you and your mate!

If you really want to stop the misery of the “push-away” game, listen to Spirit and use honesty from the get-go and consider visiting a relationship therapist. If you cannot stop this game, you may end up alone and you’ll have to start all over again to try and learn how not to play the game. However, if you can stop the “push-away” game, you can end up as Spirit says: “LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF through asking for what you need from your mate as well as living in a VERY LOVING, HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.”