When a friendship changes

Thoughts on Outgrowing Friends


If you’re like I am, you may struggle with the term “outgrowing a friend.” It sounds arrogant to me. I’m not “better” than my friends, so how could I “outgrow” one of them? Makes me feel a lot of guilt, regret, loss and sadness. I don’t know if “outgrowing a friend” is really the most coherent way to express what happens when someone just really simply finds that they want to spend their time in a different way, or their new job is taking all of their time or they’ve developed different interests, they have a baby, etc., etc., etc.


Fundamentally, I believe that there is ALWAYS a GOOD that comes from CHANGE even though the change may contain suffering and some very dark feelings. So go ahead and let yourself “feel” guilt, loss, regret and the sadness that comes from “outgrowing-a-friend.” Then soften and REMEMBER the POSITIVE INFLUENCES of the relationship. Finally, CHERISH and HONOR the relationship as it will always be a unique, special part of your life and self.

Compassionately, Bee


Bee says:

Thanks for your insight–well said.