What is it about the end of a relationship that can make us so horribly miserable? I’m talking about the end of a marriage or long-term dating partnership. Those endings that have kept us up for many nights asking:
I believe these endings are so very difficult because they bring out doubts we have about our abilities to be able to be “ALONE” in what can be “PERCEIVED” as a scary world “WHEN” we are at our lowest and feeling so unbearably vulnerable.
At these most difficult times in our lives, our emotions are driven by feelings of being lost, abandoned,; and, in my opinion, the worst feeling, UNLOVABLE!!!
Frequently at some point during this very necessary horrendous process, the old amygdala (the most primitive part of our brain–also, know as the “fight or flight” part of our brain) simply takes over. Needless to say, this can cause very irrational behavior. Like following your former lover/partner, calling them and hanging up, calling their boss, making a scene in a 5-star restaurant or other very public place OR WORSE (god forbid).
What can I say, it’s a long, mostly-miserable process and hopefully, no one has to go through it very often.
When you do need to face this extreme life challenge, talk-therapy is crucial; and, I mean talk until you’re sick of hearing yourself and you feel as though your friends and family are going to abandon you if you don’t get over it. THEN talk some more and beg everyone to JUST LISTEN PLEASE–DON’T give me advice until I ask for it!!!